Gamer Mom & Other Wacky Quirks

Basically, a guy lives in the UK. He loves XBox 360 and has bought tons of content. Guy moves to the US and asks Microsoft to transfer his account info to a US account. Microsoft tells guy that they can't/won't/don't want to do it. Guy gets frustrated and asks for help from peeps on a gaming forum. Peeps suggest making waves and all kinds of other fun things. Guy also explains plight to boss/friend at a website he infrequently writes for. Boss/friend asks Microsoft Connection for help and Microsoft Connection responds by asking to have guy fired. Huh? Boss/friend rocks and stands behind guy.

Here's the article that the guy wrote after he found out about the attempted firing.

Actually, it's been moved, here's where the article is now.

Here's the forum where the guy asked for advice.

Here's the promise of an article to be written by the guy's boss. (As soon as I see the actual article posted, I'll add it)

--------UPDATE--------
Here's the article written by the boss.

In case you care, here's my opinion. For any corporation to treat a customer the way they treated this one is just asinine. There are horror stories everywhere about how Such-and-Such Company TM treated someone like crap. You'd think that with bad customer service so prevalent, it would be impossible to actually please MOST customers. That's where you'd be wrong. It's easy to please customers. Companies do it all the time. Disney is the best example. If you have a problem at all, you need only (politely) explain your situation and 9 times out of 10 they'll resolve it...and probably in a better way than you had hoped. A great solution here, which wouldn't cost Microsoft a dime is to give this guy some credit for his lost content. The credit is digital and he has lost/needs to purchase digital content. Boom! Problem fixed. But, it seems, they'd rather bounce him around from one inept call center employee to another. Which actually costs Microsoft money in labor. I have no particular gripe with Microsoft, I have a particular gripe with poor customer service. I'd be saying the same thing no matter which company acted in this manner.

Some people are cat people, some people aren't. I happen to like cats. I also happen to like all kinds of animals. Cats are just weird critters. My siggy on the horse forum I belong to is:
A Dog looks up to a man,
A cat looks down on a man,
But a patient horse looks a man in the eye and sees him as an equal.

Truer words have never been spoken...at least for the dog and cat part. I'm not sure my horse sees me as an equal, but that's a post for another day.

I have had a few cats in my lifetime. The one pictured climbing the screen is Meeko. She's just a goofball. That's also her hanging out with the cockatiels I used to have. She'd climb right in the cage to sit with them. She never tried to do anything to them, she just liked being near them.
















This cat wakeup call is pretty typical for the cat I have now.


Basic Rules For Cats Who Run A House

*DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer it with forepaws.
Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

*GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that lap.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select fabric which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white-furred cats go to black wool clothing. NOTE: Velvet takes precedence over all other cloth.
For the guest who exclaims, "I love kitties!" be ready with aloof disdain, apply claws to stockings or arms, or use a quick nip on the ankle.
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything -- just sit there and stare.

*HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping" otherwise known is "hampering."
Some rules:
a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner to obscure the maximum amount. Pretend to dose but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. Sit on the paperwork they are working on. Roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time. Embroidery and needlepoint make great hammocks.
d) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her be sure to jump at the back of the paper. They love surprises.
e) Dart out quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs; when they have something in their arms; in the dark; and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
f) When a human is attempting to "make the bed," hop on it and curl up in the center , or pounce on the sheet the human is trying to rearrange. If the human tries to ignore you by covering you with the sheets, move around and try to mess things up. Protest loudly when you're evicted.
g) Laundry presents many opportunities to hamper. Laundry fresh from the dryer is a perfect bed, since it is warm and soft. As soon as it is put down for sorting, arrange yourself for a nap. If the human removes you, keep returning until the laundry isn't warm anymore. Now it's playtime. Pounce on anything the human tries to move around for folding, especially socks and nylons. For added fun, grab a sock and hide under the bed with it.

*PLAY: This is an important part of your life. Get enough sleep in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games.
Below are listed below are several cat games. It is important though to maintain one's Dignity at all times. If you should have an accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a part of your body as if to say "I MEANT to do that!" It fools those humans every time.

*GAMES:
a) Catch Mouse: The humans would have you believe that those lumps under the covers are their feet and hands. They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever been able to catch one. Maybe YOU can be the first.
b) King of the Hill: This game must be played with at least one other cat. Sleeping humans are the hill which must be defended at all costs from the other cat(s). Anything goes. This game allows for the development of unusual tactics as one must consider the unstable playing field.
WARNING: Playing games (a) and (b) to excess will result in expulsion from the bed. Should the humans grow restless, immediately begin purring and cuddle up to them. This should buy you some time until they fall asleep again. If one happens to be on a human when this occurs, this cat wins the round of King of the Hill.
c) Tag: This game requires two or more cats and may include a dog. One cat is It. The other(s) chase him around the house until they catch up. Then follows the Scrimmage, after which the cat who caught the other becomes It and is chased around. Great fun but has the greatest potential for loss of dignity from maneuvers such as the Non-Carpeted Floor Skid and the Throw Rug Wipeout. Whenever such a situation occurs, all felines must immediately wash themselves. Dogs are generally too stupid to do this and may continue to play. In this case, the dog automatically becomes It and should be subjected to the Pileup.
d) Tube Mouse: This is a game played in the bathroom. Next to the Big White Drinking Bowl is a roll of soft white paper which is artfully attached to the wall so that it can spin. Inside this roll is the Tube Mouse. When you grab the paper, the Tube Mouse will spin frantically as it tries to escape from you. When the Mouse is exposed, it dies of fright and stops spinning.

*TOYS: Any small item. If a human tries to confiscate it, this means it is a Valuable Toy. Run with it under the bed. Look outraged when the human takes it away. Watch where it is put so you can steal it later. Two reliable sources of toys are dresser tops and wastebaskets.
Below are listed several types of cat toys.
a) Bright shiny things like keys, brooches or coins should be hidden so the other cat(s) and humans can't play with them. They are generally good for playing hockey with on uncarpeted floors.
b) Dangling and/or string-like things such as shoelaces, cords, gold chains and dental floss also make excellent toys. They are favorites of humans who like to drag them across the floor for us to pounce on. When a string is dragged under a newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug Mouse and should be killed at, all costs. Note that playing with shoelaces when the human is trying to tie them is a great source of Hampering.
c) Within paper bags dwell the Bag Mice. They are small and the same color as the bag, so they are hard to see, but you can easily hear the crinkling noises they make as they scurry around the bag. Anything, including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them. Note: any cat you find in a bag hunting for Bag Mice is fair game for a Sneak Attack, which will usually result in a great Tag match.

*FOOD: Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed "NOW" and hunting for it oneself. The following are guidelines for getting fed.
a) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking.
b) The best times to inform humans of your dish's emptiness are when they are unable to ignore you, such as when they are sleeping or on the toilet.
c) Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent - your food will usually not be so polite and try to leave.

*SCRATCHING POSTS: It is advised that cats use anything which is most useful to you. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Sharpening your claws on a human is a definite no-no!

*WATER: Dripping taps are the best sources of fresh water. Toilets are the next best. It is imperative that any sound of running water be investigated immediately for a possible drink. A plaintive meow and licking the faucet usually will get most humans to turn on the tap.

*VACUUM CLEANER: This appalling Beast is known by many names, "Cat Eater" being the most prevalent. Humans will turn into raging monsters while under its influence, sucking up all the carefully shed cat hair and terrorizing the feline residents with evil glee. All you can do is run and hide.

*SLEEPING HUMANS: It is known that sleeping humans are boring. The "direct approach" is nearly always successful in rejuvenating a dormant human.
Do one of the following:
Trample, purr, meow or head-butt. If the human is being stubborn, you may have to resort to more drastic tactics, such as ripping down posters, rattling blinds, or singing at the top of your voice. Eventually the human will get up and do what you want, usually in a disgruntle manner.

*MORNINGS: In order to provide for you, the humans must leave the domain every morning (usually before you take your first cat nap). To help them on their way, howl loudly, massage their scalps with your claws, or gently bounce on top of them in bed. See GAMES. The best time to do this is about 24 minutes before their alarm clock goes off. We must protect them from that blaring noise for it could ruin their hearing.

*MEDICINE: The vet is where your human takes you when you are sick. The place smells funny; there are cats, dogs and awful things like needles and pills. Don't let humans cat-handle you.
The following are some tips for dealing with vets and medicine.
a) When you see the carrier come out, run and hide. Once the human grabs you, struggle gamely. Splay your legs out so it is difficult to cram you into the carrier. If the human is trying to put you in with another pet, allow the other pet to bolt out the door. In the car, meow plaintively all the way to the vet's. Reach through the bars of the carrier and claw the human as s/he drives. At the vet's, once again splay your legs and brace yourself against the carrier's walls so they can't dump you out easily.
b) At home, resist attempts to feed you pills or liquid medicine. As soon as you hear the pill bottle rattle, hide. Resist attempts to open your mouth. Squirming is good. Shake your head vigorously to remove any medicine placed in your mouth. Refuse any food that smells like it may have had medicine sprinkled in it.

*ILLNESS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is longer then a human's bare foot.

*CONCLUSION: Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent. You will then have a smooth running household.

So, I’ve been wanting to get the Wii. Who hasn’t? I’ve been very patient, however.

I waited during the initial rush,

I waited during the first Christmas season,

I waited throughout the year while demand was still high and stock still low,

I waited a SECOND Christmas season, now I’d like a Wii!

GameStop had a great thing where you could by a raincheck and have a Wii by mid-January. I was literally outside of the store getting ready to buy one when hubby told me not to. He was sure that after the Christmas rush was over, demand would die down, we’d find one easy. Nothing I had read made me confident that it would happen. I knew he was wrong, but I wasn’t willing to start an argument over a toy.

Nintendo, it seemed, couldn’t keep up with demand. Demand that was fueled by overindulgent parents and greedy ebayers, aka Wii Scalpers.

I blame those two groups primarily because they feed off each other. There are parents out there who feel their kids must have everything and they must have it now! Cost, generally, isn’t an issue. That’s where the ebayers step in. There are throngs of people with (apparently) nothing but time on their hands. Why get a job when you can camp out at Best Buy, Toys R Us, Walmart and various other outlets? From there you take your newly acquired toy that cost $250 and sell it for $500, $600, $700! It’s a vicious cycle. Actually, it’s an awesome cycle if you’ve got a lot of spare time and Wii’s on your hands.

I’ve been researching and hunting and having no luck.

-I’ve signed up on itrackr.com. No luck there yet.

-My uncle works at a Walmart and he gave me a heads up on a delivery, no luck…sold out before hubby got there (within minutes of delivery).

-Called every Kmart, Walmart, GameStop, Target, etc. No dice.

-Checked Craigslist, they're available, but just like ebay...there's a huge markup.

Basically, I’m not getting a Wii anytime soon unless I’m amazingly lucky and happen to walk by an electronics counter just as the magical Wii Delivery Truck ™ pulls in.

I refuse to camp out for a toy and I refuse to pay $150 over retail (minimum). I guess I’ll just keep sitting it out. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll find one…or I’ll win the lottery.

--------------UPDATE-------------------
Well, I finally got a Wii. I didn't do anything crafty, I just finally caved and found one on ebay. I still held firm and didn't buy one from a scalper. I found a guy who had one for cost ($275 which is close with tax). He also happened to be local to me. I made an offer and picked it up the same day. It worked out great!

One of the tips I've learned actually did help me in part of my quest. Accessories are almost as hard to find for the Wii as the actual system. Target seems to never have the remotes and nunchucks in stock. One tool their website has is you can search a product's availability in your area. I knew we wanted the Nerf sports set so I checked Target.com. One of the options is to "Find it at a Target Store". It showed that one of my local Target's had it so I zipped over. Of course, there were NONE out. No one was around to ask so I looked at the place where it would have been and wrote down the product number. I then walked over to one of those price checker thingies and keyed in the number. Surprise! It showed there were some in the stockroom. I found a girl and asked her for one. She initially tried to say they were out. HA! I told her what the scanner said and sure enough, when she radioed to the back, they had some. Score!

I had heard that Toys R Us keeps a decent stock of the accessories and I stopped there to check. Sure enough, they had plenty nunchuk's and WiiPlay sets (basically a remote +9 games for $10 more than the remote alone).

This won't help you get a Wii, but hopefully you have better luck than I did.

There are a million conspiracy theorists and all of them have Google Earth. It's true, I've done the research. Hubby has joined the ranks of those who see weird things on Google Earth. I find it fascinating for about 3 minutes, then I've moved on. What do you think about this stuff?

For nothing more that something to do when you're bored, download Google Earth.

Here's a Forum all about Google Earth, strange sightings and all!



Out of Place - Google Earth


Strange Things in Google Maps (and Google Earth)


This is one of the images that Hubby is stuck on:
Weird Object in Greenland
(PS I think it's an imaging anomaly, but what do I know)



PC World did a little article on the oddities of Google Earth, they also have explanations of the images in the captions.


Google Earth Cool Places has all kinds of images of weird things you can see on Google Earth.

Also, can't leave out the nudes! Top 10 Naked People on Google Earth.

I had a wild 2007 and 2008 is starting in the same fashion. I won't hash out all the details, but basically my job has been crazy. To top off the roller coaster year of '07, my boss was fired in November.

A new boss was announced, I was ecstatic.

Shortly after, it was announced that she was to serve only as interim (she didn't want the job permanently as she was already retired). That bummed me out.

Then she left earlier than planned and a person from within was named the new boss, he was ecstatic...not so much for me.

Then he had to announce that he was just interim.

Over the holidays, another new boss was announced...hooray!

His first day was yesterday...so was his last day.

So now we're back with guy from our department acting as boss, he somehow thinks he'll keep the job.

I'm waiting to hear who the new boss will be this time.

The New Boss

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business!The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked,

“How much money do you make a week?”A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied,
“I make $300 a week. Why?”

The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed,
“Here’s four weeks’ pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?” From across the room came a voice, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

-Top Ten Reasons Why My New Boss Irritates the Piss out of Me

Perspectives...

When I take a long time I'm slow
When my boss takes a long time he's thorough

When I don't do it I'm lazy
When my boss doesn't do it he's busy

When I make a mistake, I'm an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I do something without being told, I'm overstepping my authority
When my boss does the same, that's initiative

When I take a stand, I'm being bull-headed
When my boss does it, he's being firm.

When I overlooked a rule of etiquette, I'm being rude
When my boss skips a few rules, he's being original

When I'm out of the office, I'm wandering around
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business

When I'm on a day off sick, I'm always sick
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

When I please my boss I'm crawling
When my boss pleases his boss, he's co-operating

When I do good, my boss never remembers
When I do wrong, my boss never forgets........

2006 Bad Boss Contest Results

ATTENTION BAD BOSSES! Read This

How to Smell a Bad Boss in Just one Interview

Robot Chicken always has some pretty funny Christmas videos. Here's a sampling.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus


Lighting up the Christmas Lights


Born in a Manger


Hermey's Dentistry


NORAD vs. Santa

I love Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and their voices. Here are some vids of them singing some Christmas songs.

Marshmallow World with Dean & Frank - A True Classic!


Let it Snow - Frank Sinatra
He can make any song his own song.


Frank Sinatra - I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

I'll take one for Christmas please!

Disappearing Car Door

The holidays are here and Vanguard is not ignoring that fact. They have put an all out Christmas flair to the game. There are trees, snowmen, reindeer, presents, presents and presents. I had to take a pic of me by the tree on my reindeer. I'm normally not a Raki (FYI that is one of the many races to choose from ingame), but one of the many gifts are cookies that allow you to temporarily change your race. This time I went from Half-Elf to Raki...

In the spirit of the holidays, I just had to share this...



Cool Stuff: 30 Years of LucasFilm Christmas Cards

This just looks supercool...I wish I had a use for it!

"The truth is rarely out there. (Videogame box art edits)"
From Calloftheday.net

Holy moly! This dude was attacked by a great white shark in CA. I am in awe that someone could survive the injuries he had. http://isarf.org/todd-endris.htm

Halloween is just around the corner and my son is really getting geared up for it. This will be his first year of picking out his own costume and really understanding what Halloween is all about. Now I just have to figure out a way to get myself into a costume without looking like some kind of trampy whatever. Or maybe I'll just suck it up and look trampy...we'll see.

Candy USA! I love a website devoted to my favorite foodgroup.



Candy Quiz I got a few right.

19. If you find that:
a. your house is built upon or near a cemetery,
b. was once a church that was used for black masses,
c. had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or
d. had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house,
MOVE AWAY IMMEDIATELY.

I had a surprise party once...it sucked. It was for my 30th birthday and I was pregnant and my mom threw it so hardly any of my friends were there. On the upside, relatives came and they actually gave me money! I hadn't seen that since I graduated high school.

We're throwing a party today for my friend who is 35 and I am in charge of getting her out of the house. It wouldn't seem suspicious at all except one of her stupid friends called her and told her that she was sorry that she couldn't make it to the party. What kind of MORON calls the surprisee to decline an invitation?!? I'm sure she knows now, but I'm going to pretend that I don't know she knows. Who knows, maybe she doesn't know. I hope she doesn't read my blog because that might be a giveaway.

No links or anything fun today. I just wanted to share my surprise party news.

SURPRISE!!!

There are all types out there and the web has given them all their little tiny spotlight. I'm always amazed at the things people come up with...and the fact that they are given (at least for a short time) some small speck of fame. Youtube is the perfect forum for those who just didn't get enough hugs as a kid. The funny thing to me is that I work in broadcasting and it would be pretty easy for me to fill Youtube with my work...but...I just don't care to. I like looking at the stuff there, though.

I don't have a myspace page or a facebook...I don't even have a webcam. In fact, I only do this blog thing because I get bored and I like to share links with my friends. Now, if you're a stranger and happen upon this page I don't mind either. I'm not looking for my 15 minutes and virtually nothing here is actually by me. I just have some time on my hands.

Today is my homage to all the internet people...



15 Minutes of Fame according to wikipedia.



VH1's 40 Greatest Internet Superstars.



Here are a couple of funny gaming related videos that I have always enjoyed. First is the WoW version of "The Internet is for Porn".


"Fette's Vette" made using Star Wars Galaxies.


And finally, I had to find a video using my current favorite game - Vanguard: Saga of Heroes.

It's about time I introduced you to one of my critters and this one is, by far, the largest (and probably most expensive). His name is Scout and he's a horse. I love him...sigh.

Today is all about horses, if you don't like it, tough. I'm in a horse mood today so there.






I love this forum! Great community, if you're into horses, check it out.

Basic Rules For Horses Who Have A Barn To Protect

THE ART OF SNORTING: Humans like to be snorted on. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family horse, to accommodate them.

NEIGHING: Because you are a horse, you are expected to neigh. So neigh - a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting the barn and communicating with other horses. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing you, "Neigh, neigh, neigh..."

STOMPING CATS: When standing on cross ties, make sure you never --- quite --- stomp on the barn cat's tail. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the architectural industry.... chew on your stall wall, the fence or any other wooden item.

FRESH BEDDING: It is perfectly permissible to urinate in the middle of your freshly bedded stall to let your humans know how much you appreciate their hard work.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always pull all of your hay out of the hay rack, especially right after your stall has been cleaned, so you can mix the hay with your fresh bedding. This challenges your human, the next time they're cleaning your stall - and we all know how humans love a challenge (that's what they said when they bought you as a two year old, right?).

DOORS: Any door, even partially open, is always an invitation for you and your human to exercise. Bolt out of the door and trot around, just out of reach of your human, who will frantically run after and chase you. The longer it goes on, the more fun it is for all involved.

GOING FOR TRAIL RIDES: Rules of the road: When out for a trail ride with your owner, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

HOLES: Rather than pawing and digging a BIG hole in the middle of the paddock or stall and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

GROUND MANNERS: Ground manners are very important to humans; break as much of the ground in and around the barn as possible. This lets the ground know who's boss and impresses your human.

NUZZLING: Always take a BIG drink from your water trough immediately before nuzzling your human. Humans prefer clean muzzles. Be ready to rub your head on the area of your human that you just nuzzled to dry it off, too.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while frolicking in the paddock, use one of the other horses to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself. Then the other horse will get a visit from the mean ol' vet, not you!

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of horses. Rock back and forth on the cross-ties, neighing loudly and pawing playfully at this person. If the human backs away and starts crying, swoosh your tail, stamp your feet and nicker gently to show your concern.

I found an adorable gallery of people who have dressed up their miniature horses for costume contests...and yes...I've dressed up my horse...and yes...that is him smiling for the camera.

I don't actually play WoW, but the theme isn't far off from any MMORPG...

http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2302

#1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

Well, our unmanageable lives were sort of why we started playing WoW in the first place. Maybe if all bosses and girlfriends had exclamation points over their heads when they had something useful to say, you could get a concise, one-paragraph quest when they wanted something, and safely ignore them the rest of the time. That would be awesome. And hey, we’re powerful over alcohol; we're too busy to head out to the bar because we're playing World of Warcraft.

#2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Absolutely true. It's called the Crystal Restore, it binds on pickup, and it restores 670 damage over 15 seconds. That's the best restoration... Oh, you didn't mean just recovering damage points on some game, you mean how to deal with what is a very serious disease. Then yes, that power is a level 14 priest, who can simply cast Cure Disease on you. Sanity restored, no problem.

#3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

If by "God" you mean "Guildmaster,” then yes. The Guildmaster is in charge of our will and lives, directs us on our raids and determines whether our time is spent in vain or in glory. All hail to the Guildmaster. Amen.

#4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

We do this every few minutes. If there's one thing World of Warcraft addicts are good at, it's searching inventory. And generally it's fearless, because even if we're a few gold short and don't have the fabric to make into the gloves we need, we can go out and hunt more. There's a world full of creatures waiting to drop things for us. And as soon as we pick something up, it's time for another fearless search of our inventory.

#5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Look, we're sorry about aggro’ing all those dragons, okay? Yes, we screwed up a little bit and our little party had to restart the raid. We're not as bad as Leroy Jenkins, but we admit here before the Guildmaster, ourselves, and our guildmates, we went aggro a bit too early and didn't have the buffs set up to back it up.

#6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Our character definitely has some defects, and we're ready to have them removed. The low hit points are somewhat of a problem, especially when combined with the lack of damage resistance.

#7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Dear Guildmaster, please give us all Thick Obsidian Breastplates so that we may deflect the damage we receive from our enemies, and thereby fight a more worthy battle in your eyes. Amen.

#8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

37 Abominations, 126 Bandits, 54 Cannibal Ghouls, 38 Daggerspine Raiders... this may take a while. Actually, it'd probably be a lot faster to make a list of the people we haven't harmed. Especially if you count causing accidental death as harming, because that would cover all the people in that party...

#9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Well, all the mobs can't really have amends made to them, and making amends to anyone else would injure our guild... injuring the guild is bad. Perhaps we'll just make a direct amends to our Guildmaster. Donating gold for guild use generally covers any wrongdoing, just like donating to the church and saying Hail Marys is a quick way to be forgiven for sinning against the rest of the world.

#10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

We assure you, inventory will continue to be taken very personally. And that time we thought we had healing potions and didn't, we were very quick to admit it. Well, insofar as you can call, "Dammit, thought we had a few healing potions left! Now we're screwed!” an admission.

#11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.

Prayer and meditation are very important. Meditation recharges your mana, which you'll need if you're going to cast the big prayers. And we sure hope we've got the power to carry that out, because if there aren't any prayers of healing being granted, then this party is not going to last very long.

#12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Behold, heed our message and learn these principles we have resolved to practice: Believe in the Crystal Restore and Cure Disease. Be guided by your Guildmaster. Search your inventory fearlessly. Acquire Thick Obsidian Breastplates. And if you are going to use lots of prayers, don't forget to learn meditation.

Another addiction conquered by the magic of 12-step programs. Let's drink to our success! But do it quickly, because we've got a Molten Core raid coming up.

I loved this show! I hope that once I'm in my new house and have a DVR and they rerun it so that I can record it...that's a lot of factors to hope for, though.

Here are some scenes from that episode...

The Emperor's Phone Call


Death Star Orientation


Ponda Baba's Bad Day